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"Medieval mayhem meets top-down GTA nostalgia."

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EventOngoing

[Upcoming] Rustler - Grand Theft Horse - Free on Epic Games

2026年1月22日

Become a medieval thug in a crazy open-world action game, full of pop-culture references. Complete insane quests, kill heroes, steal horses, fight guards, rob peasants, listen to some bard music, and much more! All packed in old-school gameplay style!

概要

Rustler is an open-world, top-down action game that pays homage to classic GTA titles within a historically inaccurate medieval setting. As "The Guy," a lowlife peasant, you'll steal horses, terrorize the nobility, and complete insane quests in a world packed with pop-culture references and anachronistic humor.

ストーリー

You play as an anti-hero named "The Guy," a small-time criminal working for a local mob boss. The narrative follows his absurd attempt to infiltrate high society and win the Grand Tournament to impress a fair maiden, beginning with a hilarious live-action intro that sets the tone for a plot filled with Monty Python-esque satire.

Gameplay

Experience old-school top-down chaos with a mix of melee and ranged combat while navigating a sandbox world. Missions involve stealing horses, evading guards with flashing sirens, and causing general mayhem, utilizing a physics-based engine that prioritizes chaotic fun over precision.

Key Features

  • 1Grand Theft Horse: Steal horses, carts, and cows to get around.
  • 2Historical Inaccuracy: Police horses with sirens and "No Parking" zones.
  • 3Top-Down Combat: Use swords, crossbows, and even poo as weapons.
  • 4Bard Radio: Hire a bard to follow you and beatbox the soundtrack.
  • 5Absurd Mini-games: Engage in medieval martial arts and horse racing.
  • 6Pimp Your Horse: Visit body shops to change your horse's color and lose the heat.

Highlights

Live-action FMV introsMonty Python referencesInteractive open worldGibberish voice actingUnique save-game monks

Pros & Cons

長所

  • +Hilarious premise and setting
  • +Nostalgic top-down GTA gameplay
  • +Creative medieval twists on modern mechanics
  • +Detailed and varied environments

短所

  • -Combat mechanics can feel clunky
  • -Humor is occasionally forced
  • -Checkpoints and save system can be frustrating

Game Ratings

Humor9/10

Packed with jokes, references, and visual gags

Nostalgia8/10

Perfectly captures the feel of GTA 2

Gameplay6/10

Fun concepts but can feel imprecise and rough

Sound8/10

Human-voice sound effects and bard music

World Design7/10

Detailed towns, castles, and muddy villages

Who Will Enjoy This?

Retro GTA Fans50%

Lovers of top-down chaos and classic mechanics

Comedy Seekers30%

Fans of Monty Python and satire

Casual Anarchists20%

Players who just want to cause medieval havoc

Similar To

Core Gameplay

Grand Theft Auto 2

90%

match

Setting Satire

Kingdom Come: Deliverance

40%

match

Top-Down Action

Hotline Miami

60%

match

💡 Did You Know?

The game features 'police' horses equipped with red and blue flashing lights and sirens.

Characters speak in a 'Sims-like' gibberish that mocks medieval vernacular.

The protagonist is literally named 'The Guy' because his parents were too lazy.

Development included a successful Kickstarter campaign.

You can hire a bard who acts as a living radio, changing tunes on command.

Latest Updates & Events

EventLIVE

[Upcoming] Rustler - Grand Theft Horse - Free on Epic Games

Become a medieval thug in a crazy open-world action game, full of pop-culture references. Complete insane quests, kill heroes, steal horses, fight guards, rob peasants, listen to some bard music, and much more! All packed in old-school gameplay style!

Free Game
Epic Games Store
Limited Time
Start: 1/22/2026End: 1/29/2026
A perfect title... humor covers technical imperfections and I laughed frequently throughout.Steam User Review
Prioritizes humor over mechanical polish, but the premise is decent and environments are well-executed.Critical Review

Game Ratings

Humor9/10

Packed with jokes, references, and visual gags

Nostalgia8/10

Perfectly captures the feel of GTA 2

Gameplay6/10

Fun concepts but can feel imprecise and rough

Sound8/10

Human-voice sound effects and bard music

World Design7/10

Detailed towns, castles, and muddy villages

Who Will Enjoy This?

Retro GTA Fans50%

Lovers of top-down chaos and classic mechanics

Comedy Seekers30%

Fans of Monty Python and satire

Casual Anarchists20%

Players who just want to cause medieval havoc

Similar To

Grand Theft Auto 2
Core Gameplay
Similarity
90%
Kingdom Come: Deliverance
Setting Satire
Similarity
40%
Hotline Miami
Top-Down Action
Similarity
60%

💡 Did You Know?

The game features 'police' horses equipped with red and blue flashing lights and sirens.

Characters speak in a 'Sims-like' gibberish that mocks medieval vernacular.

The protagonist is literally named 'The Guy' because his parents were too lazy.

Development included a successful Kickstarter campaign.

You can hire a bard who acts as a living radio, changing tunes on command.

Latest Updates & Events

EventLIVE
1/22/2026

[Upcoming] Rustler - Grand Theft Horse - Free on Epic Games

Become a medieval thug in a crazy open-world action game, full of pop-culture references. Complete insane quests, kill heroes, steal horses, fight guards, rob peasants, listen to some bard music, and much more! All packed in old-school gameplay style!

Free GameEpic Games StoreLimited Time

The Bard System

Unlike modern games with car radios, Rustler allows you to hire a personal bard. This NPC follows you around playing lute music and beatboxing. If you get tired of the tune (or the bard), you can punch them to change the 'station' or silence them permanently.

Arsenal of Anarchy

  • Crossbows (Shotgun style)
  • Swords and Spears
  • Scythes
  • Horse Hooves
  • Literal Feces

Game Details

Platforms
PC
Genres
Action, Adventure +2
Atmosphere
whimsical

Get the Game

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