"Touching things is for peasants—order your minions to destroy Earth instead."
Updates & Events
Earth Must Die - 25% OFF on Steam
Earth Must Die is currently featured on the Steam store!
About
Step into the boots of VValak Lizardtongue, a megalomaniacal alien dictator with a fragile ego and a burning desire for revenge. After 'Terranoids' (humans) invade your Tyrythian kingdom and kill your father, you must embark on a hilarious, slapstick quest to annihilate Earth. It's a point-and-click adventure where the protagonist is too posh to actually click on things himself.
Story
As the newly appointed Grand Shepherd of the Tyrythian Ascendancy (mostly because you murdered your brothers), your reign is interrupted by annoying apes from Earth stealing your fuel. Accompanied by Milky, a floating robot wet-nurse, and a horde of expendable minions, you'll traverse the galaxy, shrinking down to microscopic civilizations and crashing luxury cruises, all to secure enough pink goo to blow Earth to smithereens.
Gameplay
Earth Must Die revolutionizes the adventure genre by removing the inventory entirely—VValak refuses to dirty his hands with manual labor. Instead, gameplay revolves around dialogue puzzles where you berate, manipulate, and command minions (like giant mosquitoes or cabbage-chickens) to interact with the world for you. It is a linear, narrative-driven experience akin to a 'playable cartoon.'
Key Features
- 1No-Inventory System: Solve puzzles by yelling at underlings
- 2The Milkypedia: A sentient in-game hint system and lore library
- 3Stellar British Cast: Voices from Taskmaster, Plebs, and Black Books
- 4Micro-Civilization Puzzles: Shrink down to manipulate tiny worlds
- 5Playable Cartoon: Vibrant 2D/2.5D animation style
- 6Bite-Sized Chaos: A tight ~8-hour narrative experience
Highlights
Pros & Cons
Pros
- +Incredible voice acting performance
- +Genuinely funny, rapid-fire script
- +Fresh take on point-and-click mechanics
- +High-quality animation
Cons
- -Linear structure limits replayability
- -Crude humor may not suit all tastes
Game Ratings
Relentless gags, slapstick, and British wit
Star-studded cast including Mike Wozniak and Tamsin Greig
Creative logic without inventory management
Looks like a high-budget Saturday morning cartoon
Compact ~8 hour narrative ride
Who Will Enjoy This?
Fans of British sitcoms and Adult Swim humor
Lovers of Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle
Those looking for a fun story without twitch reflexes
Similar To
Humor & Style
Return to Monkey Island
match
Mechanics
Lair of the Clockwork God
match
Villain Protagonist
Destroy All Humans!
match
đź’ˇ Did You Know?
VValak's sidekick, Milky, is a robot originally designed for wet-nursing babies.
The game features a level where you play as a Hitman Agent 47 parody on a cruise ship.
The developer, Size Five Games, previously won a BAFTA for their innovative game design.
VValak never touches a single object in the game due to his 'superior' social status.
One puzzle involves infecting a button with a microscopic civilization.
Latest Updates & Events
Earth Must Die - 25% OFF on Steam
Earth Must Die is currently featured on the Steam store!
“These moronic Terranoids think they can just roll in here and take over my beautiful Tyrythian kingdom? This is complete bullsh*t.”— VValak Lizardtongue
“An inventive puzzler with rapid-fire gags.”— PC Gamer
Game Ratings
Relentless gags, slapstick, and British wit
Star-studded cast including Mike Wozniak and Tamsin Greig
Creative logic without inventory management
Looks like a high-budget Saturday morning cartoon
Compact ~8 hour narrative ride
Who Will Enjoy This?
Fans of British sitcoms and Adult Swim humor
Lovers of Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle
Those looking for a fun story without twitch reflexes
Similar To
đź’ˇ Did You Know?
VValak's sidekick, Milky, is a robot originally designed for wet-nursing babies.
The game features a level where you play as a Hitman Agent 47 parody on a cruise ship.
The developer, Size Five Games, previously won a BAFTA for their innovative game design.
VValak never touches a single object in the game due to his 'superior' social status.
One puzzle involves infecting a button with a microscopic civilization.
Latest Updates & Events
Earth Must Die - 25% OFF on Steam
Earth Must Die is currently featured on the Steam store!
Timeline
The Royal Cast
- •Joel Fry (Plebs) as VValak
- •Mike Wozniak (Taskmaster) as The Narrator/Various
- •Alex Horne (Taskmaster)
- •Tamsin Greig (Black Books)
Game Details
- Developer
- Size Five Games
- Publisher
- No More Robots
- Platforms
- PC
- Genres
- Adventure, Comedy +1
- Atmosphere
- whimsical/intense